The Felneyverse - Darkbasic Games

These are games I've made with tools from The Game Creators / Dark Basic Software. I once wanted to create a website dedicated to "the shittiest tutorials", and Darkbasic would be well up there. The manual told you how to print "Hello World", then "step 2" was to OPEN A PRE-MADE GAME AND RUN IT. Yeah, nah, thanks for, say, taking us through making that game step-by-step and explaining what each part does. You cunts.

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Description

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Darkbasic Proper

I only ever made one game with this, due to encountering a load of bizarre bugs that baffled even the experts on the Darkbasic forums. I've since seen a Youtube video where a guy tried to make an FPS in this, and when he loaded in his perfectly-fine gun model, Darkbasic corrupted the animation and made the arm holding the gun spin around when he fired... so I wasn't the only one. They later made "Darkbasic Pro", but by then I was thoroughly burned.

Asteroid Race 3D

A 3D re-make of Asteroid Racer, created in Darkbasic and vastly worse. I followed tutorials and guides to the letter, and still encountered a bunch of inexplicable bugs, like how putting in music made it run too fast with "trails" behind everything.

The 3D Game Maker

Not to be confused with the other Game Maker (in which I made the original, 2D, Asteroid Racer). This is based on Darkbasic, but it's aimed at little kids, so you CAN'T go wrong with it. But that does mean it's very limited... you can't even import new models, so any "original content" in this is just retexturing. Apparently there is a way to swap models between categories, so you can make the T-Rex (supposed to be an enemy character) into a player character, but I don't know how to do it.

I first got this in 2002, beleiving the blurb on the box, and hoping to use it to make "GTA 3 in Felney!". Erm, no. (also I think I got the "lite" version, which is even more restrictive!) I uninstalled and forgot about it for ages... then suddenly remembered it in early 2026, and decided to have a play about, making extremely stupid games for my own amusement.

Oo-Arr Farmer

Made as part of Felney's 25th birthday celebrations, play as a Tory-voting farmer and grab money that was earmarked for LGBT charities! Because of a bizarre, inexplicable bug (oh, Darkbasic), some of the money you need to collect is invisible! All the needed collectables are placed between two traffic cones.

Giant Chickens of Doom

A re-make of the only game I finished, back when I first got the software in 2002. This was also made for Felney's 25th birthday. Fly around somewhere that looks nothing like Cambridgeshire, battling giant chickens of doom!

Twilight Hunt

An Insanity Please game. Fly around the featureless sky and blast Shinra stealth bombers... if you can find them!

Ice Station Escape

A Teddy Bear World game, infiltrate the evil Curlyfur's ship and take down his army of living ice! Features 3 levels of FPS action which is not at all bland and repetitive.

Hazy Taxi

A quick joke game, crapped out because there was a controversy over Crazy Taxi using AI art for a few background textures.

FPS Creator

I got this mod called "Black Ice", which looks great... when the editor hasn't locked up or crashed. Most of the time I can't even start it, and when I can, saving or running a game is basically rolling loaded dice. I largely gave up on the useless shit... but maybe one day I'll crap out some shoot-nazis-in-a-bunker rubbish for you to run around in.

Back

These are games I've made with tools from The Game Creators / Dark Basic Software. I once wanted to create a website dedicated to "the shittiest tutorials", and Darkbasic would be well up there. The manual told you how to print "Hello World", then "step 2" was to OPEN A PRE-MADE GAME AND RUN IT. Yeah, nah, thanks for, say, taking us through making that game step-by-step and explaining what each part does. You cunts.
Download	Description	Shot
Darkbasic Proper I only ever made one game with this, due to encountering a load of bizarre bugs that baffled even the experts on the Darkbasic forums. I've since seen a Youtube video where a guy tried to make an FPS in this, and when he loaded in his perfectly-fine gun model, Darkbasic corrupted the animation and made the arm holding the gun spin around when he fired... so I wasn't the only one. They later made "Darkbasic Pro", but by then I was thoroughly burned.
	Asteroid Race 3D A 3D re-make of Asteroid Racer, created in Darkbasic and vastly worse. I followed tutorials and guides to the letter, and still encountered a bunch of inexplicable bugs, like how putting in music made it run too fast with "trails" behind everything.
The 3D Game Maker Not to be confused with the other Game Maker (in which I made the original, 2D, Asteroid Racer). This is based on Darkbasic, but it's aimed at little kids, so you CAN'T go wrong with it. But that does mean it's very limited... you can't even import new models, so any "original content" in this is just retexturing. Apparently there is a way to swap models between categories, so you can make the T-Rex (supposed to be an enemy character) into a player character, but I don't know how to do it. I first got this in 2002, beleiving the blurb on the box, and hoping to use it to make "GTA 3 in Felney!". Erm, no. (also I think I got the "lite" version, which is even more restrictive!) I uninstalled and forgot about it for ages... then suddenly remembered it in early 2026, and decided to have a play about, making extremely stupid games for my own amusement.
	Oo-Arr Farmer Made as part of Felney's 25th birthday celebrations, play as a Tory-voting farmer and grab money that was earmarked for LGBT charities! Because of a bizarre, inexplicable bug (oh, Darkbasic), some of the money you need to collect is invisible! All the needed collectables are placed between two traffic cones.
	Giant Chickens of Doom A re-make of the only game I finished, back when I first got the software in 2002. This was also made for Felney's 25th birthday. Fly around somewhere that looks nothing like Cambridgeshire, battling giant chickens of doom!
	Twilight Hunt An Insanity Please game. Fly around the featureless sky and blast Shinra stealth bombers... if you can find them!
	Ice Station Escape A Teddy Bear World game, infiltrate the evil Curlyfur's ship and take down his army of living ice! Features 3 levels of FPS action which is not at all bland and repetitive.
	Hazy Taxi A quick joke game, crapped out because there was a controversy over Crazy Taxi using AI art for a few background textures.
FPS Creator I got this mod called "Black Ice", which looks great... when the editor hasn't locked up or crashed. Most of the time I can't even start it, and when I can, saving or running a game is basically rolling loaded dice. I largely gave up on the useless shit... but maybe one day I'll crap out some shoot-nazis-in-a-bunker rubbish for you to run around in.