SPORTS NEWS
The local Felney cricket team was beaten 132-2 by the rival team Pymoore on Wednesday. Brian twatt,the manager of the team said "Well most of the time the Felney batsman couldnt hit the ball,or swung at the wrong one due to having double vision, the fielders spend most of the match lying in thier own vomit" Brian belives that this is to do with the fact the local Felney cricket club is based in a pub,and Alcoholics anoymous suggests that people join the cricket team to take thier minds of drink. Also bats used for practise regularly are pressed into service as weapons in football punch ups.