Internet Edition - 15^th October 2005

Yesterday the Felney fascists announced in a press release that they had just singed a multi-pound sponsorship deal with the local furniture giant Zels, who provide cheap, quality furniture with great customer service and ample parking. Located in an idyllic rural setting amongst wonderful countryside smells and stylishly arranged overgrown rusting farm machinery, Zels provide service with a smile and the furniture dream homes are made of. Their manager Albert Dick-Cheddar yesterday stated "We are happy to have singed this historic deal with this great team, the Felny Funters, and look forward to working with them in the future. Ps we are now online at www.zelsfurnitureheaven.com ". Manager of the team, Brian Twatt, said "Zels really do offer great furniture at low prices, my house is full of the stuff, now if you'll excuse me I need to go for my tetanus jab, I got a rusty nail stuck somewhere embarrising while sitting in my, er, car".

On Thursday it was reported that racist chants where heard from one person at a Cambride City game, directed at their one black player. The manager Johnny Skellford said "Only one person? But that means that 66.66% of the crowd where not shouting racist abuse, its outrageous!". The score was Upper Wimbottishelford 5, Cambridge City Nil.

Region to be policed by "super force"

Police uncover huge haul of banned 'nasties'

Amazing Felney Herald competition!

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