Internet Edition - 15^th October 2005

Representatives from the police forces of Cambridgeshire, Norfolk, Suffolk and Hertfordshire met earlier today to consider joining all of their forces together to allow for greater resource-sharing and integration. As well as the opportunity to perform the all-important procedure of closing local police stations to streamline the service for the 21^st Century. "We are very excited about this plan" said the acting chief inspector Julia Skiver, "Because it will allow us more time to sit around in roadside café's miles away from the areas we normally work in, which will increase productivity". Local residents expressed concerns about the time this move will take, as cottenham has been swamped by illegal travelling camps, and people are scared to walk around Peterborough and Ely alone at night after the near-vertical rise of violent attacks there. The chief inspector brushed off these claims by stating "Thanks to our speedy information sharing we have already seen a 75% increase in revenue raised from safety cameras and a 22% reduction in the pracitice of "dogging". These are 'gateway' crimes and only by cracking down on them will we stop gangs of thugs killing old grannies for a plate of chips".

2^nd Drove, off Mank Lane, Pymoor

Last week, we reported that "Mrs Fothergills cat gets stuck up tree" and claimed this story to be an exclusive, however we have now learned that this story was also seen in the Punjab times, from India. We apologise for any confusion which may have been caused

Region to be policed by "super force"

Police uncover huge haul of banned 'nasties'

Amazing Felney Herald competition!

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